YOU CAN'T WIN WITH WOMEN

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country
road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to
an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position. As they
passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied,
"in-laws."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his
wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason
has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his
wife and asked, "What?"



CREATION

A man said to his wife one day,
"I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same
time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful
so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be
attracted to you!"


WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having
an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife
said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't
have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in
charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do
it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't
believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and
opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"


The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having
some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to
be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of
paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would
find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00
AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why
his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the
bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these
kinds of contests.